Planet Veggie

I broke my foot. People keep asking me if I broke it by slipping over in the recent snow and, as much as I’d like to say, ‘yes, it was the bastard snow, dammit’, the honest answer is, ‘no, I fell over pissed on the way home from a party’. That was about four weeks ago and the nurse said it takes about eight weeks for a broken foot to heal, so I should be about halfway to being able to walk again without wearing a big boot thing, yay. Oh, and in case you’re interested – and people seem to be – the bit of foot that broke was a couple of metatarsals – you know, the bits of feet no one had heard of until David Beckham broke his. So, you could say, I bent it like Beckham. Ha!

Last week I toasted a sandwich in my HealthyFry air fryer and it was undoubtedly the best toasted sandwich I’ve ever had, so yesterday I experimented with a wrap and made an air fried wrap with Violife Creamy (vegan cream cheese available in most supermarkets – you can find it in the chilled ‘free from’ section), olives, mushrooms, capers and sriracha (hot chilli sauce available in most supermarkets) and that was just as good, if not better, so I decided in the interests of the human population (or at least in the interests of the three people who read this blog) to make another and photograph it to share with you before gobbling it up.

I am a mother-fucking goddamn genius. After ‘potato cakes’ being on the shopping list for two weeks and being ignored for two weeks and upon me enquiring why my potato cakes had not been forthcoming told ‘I don’t know where they are in Tesco. We have potatoes – make some’ decided that, okay, yes I will indeed make my own potato cakes. They weren’t as good as the ones in Tesco – Tesco ones are dense and you can hold them in your hand, like crumpets (or probably like any other potato cake but my experience of potato cakes begins and ends with the Tesco ones) and the ones I made were like fried mashed potato, probably because they were, um, fried mashed potato.

Back in fuck-knows-how-long-ago, I bought a packet of ready-made polenta. I have no idea why I bought it but I did and it stayed in my cupboard until I realised I was never going to use it and it was approximately twenty-three thousand years out of date anyway, so I threw it away.